Setting myself Free
by kycampbell100
Summary: Rachel Berry is broken. She wants someone to care about her, but then again she believes no one does. Mr. Schue is trying to help her get through but Rachel is in a place where she is hard to reach. When she takes a big step to end her life he is there to talk her out of it, but she wants so badly to end her life. She believes that is the only way to set herself free from the pain.


**So here is a new story that I wrote. I can't bear the thought of not putting Finn in the story so I am. This is completely AU and is most likely going to be very sad, but I hope you all enjoy. **

Rachel's P.O.V.

I stare at my reflection in the mirror and I notice all the things that need fixed. My nose, my face, my height, my weight, and I notice one other thing I need to fix. One things that I can't even see.. My personality.

Although for the past two months at school I haven't been myself no body has noticed. I am quiet in glee club, I don't try to show off, I don't answer questions, I don't put my input on anything, I sit their quietly and become silent, I become invisible. Although every time I give up an opportunity to sing a solo I feel like punching myself over and over again I don't. Instead I sit there silently, alone, and I become invisible.

When I walk out of the bathroom I look at the time and notice that I am late for Glee class. 25 minutes to be exact. There is only 30 minutes left of class so why should I even bother going. There is no point to it. They don't need me in there. I am invisible. No body cares about me. I am Rachel Berry. The loser, the out cast, the one who has no friends, the one who was put on this planet for no reason.

I walk outside and find myself walking to the bleachers at the football stadium. Maybe I need to think for a while. Maybe I am blowing everything out of proportion. When I finally sit down I start to think of all the cruel things everyone has ever said to me.

Kurt "I find it hard being in the same room with you, you are so annoying"

Quinn "Rachel you are never going to have a happy ending"

Santana "You should be put into quarantine so no one else catches your disease"

Brittany" I am much more talented then you"

Finn "Look Rachel I don't love you. I don't have any feelings for you. Get the image of you and me together out of your head"

Mr. Schue "You are snobby, disrespectful, and hard to work with and It is not okay anymore."

Tears come to my eyes and I put my head between my hands as they start to flood out. Why do they hate me so much. Why can't I be liked. Why is it so hard for me to get along with people. Am I really that terrible of a person.

When I finally lift my head from my hands I lift my sleeve on my arms to look at the scars and the recent cuts that have been placed just a few minutes ago in the bathroom. Why do I keep doing this to myself. I know the cuts are to feel control, to feel that something good is happening. I really mean why do I keep torturing myself in life. Why do I keep putting up with all the crap people throw at me. Everyday I live in this world that is constantly bringing me down, why can't I just let it go, why can't I set myself free.

I look up at the intercom when I hear my name being called to the guidance office. I look down at my hands and decide that I should go. I don't want to. I stand up and walk till I reach the door of the office and I see Mr. Schuester in there. I don't want to face him or his wife I want to be alone. I start to turn away and they both see me so I open the door and walk in. After I walk in a take a seat across from Emma and look at her. I didn't have any expressions on my face just a plane look to say that I was here and what did she want.

"Rachel why were you not in Glee class today?" I look at Mr. Schue and shrugged. "Rachel you can't just blow glee off. We have regionals in three weeks." I don't do anything I sit there acting like I was listening.

"Rachel what is going on in your head?" I look at Emma as I hear her voice asking a question that I have been wanting to hear. But nobody notices. Nobody cares. I try my best to hold back the tears, but one slips out. "Is something wrong at home?" I hear her voice ask. The question I am asking myself is why isn't wrong in my life. "Rachel can you please speak to me."

"What do you want me to say?" I ask.

"Rachel we want to know what is going on in your head. We want to know what is wrong." I look at Mr. Schuester and look away.

"Listen I just don't care anymore." I stare at the floor as I stated the accusation.

"Then look into my eyes and tell me that."

I look Mr. Schuester in the eyes and I say in a shaky tone "I don't care anymore," in the end I look away and another tear slips.

"Rachel now tell me the truth." I look at Emma and shake my head. Why should I tell her the truth. Why do they deserve to know. She wouldn't even notice if it wasn't for Mr. Schuester.

"Why do you even need me Mr. Shuester. Is there a song that you need my voice for. You don't think you can win regional's without it. Well listen here I am not doing it. I don't care if you kick me out of glee club. I quit anyway. Just don't even both asking, because I know you don't really care. Next time you want to shut a door in a students face why don't you make sure you know the truth next time." I stand up and run out of the office as fast as I could not wanting to listen to a reply, but I could hear MR. Schuester running and trying to catch up to me.

"Rachel what are you talking about?" he asks when he finally catches up to me and grabs my arm lightly trying to make sure he doesn't hurt me.

"Listen it doesn't matter. Let me go Mr. Schuester. I am not going to be any service to you anymore. I am done singing, I am done dancing, I am done with my dream, I am done with glee." After Mr. Schue let me go I walk away. I walk back to the bleachers and I sit there pondering life and if all this is really worth it.

Mr. Schuester's P.O.V.

I walk back to Emma's room and I sit down in one of the chairs.

"Did you see that Emma. She was so different. She doesn't look like the Rachel Berry that was driven by her dream that she wouldn't let people get in the way." I look at Emma who is shaking her head.

"Will all you have noticed is that she is different then when you first met her, what you didn't notice was her puffy eyes symbolizing that she has been crying, or that she looks a lot skinnier then she should be, or that she starts to shut herself down, something is emotionally unstable with her right now. There is something majorly wrong with her. Don't try to push her because that may send her over the edge."

"She did look very pale didn't she." I sigh and look at my hands. My wife is right. "She has been acting differently for two months I just haven't paid much attention to it. I guess that all I have cared about is winning regional's and I have lost sight of the students and how they deserve to be treated."

"Will why don't you go talk to the other students about Rachel. Tell them not to push her to hard." I nod and get up from my seat. I walk into the choir room and look at the clock and see that there is only five minutes till the class is over.

"Where is Berry? Didn't you bust her?" I look over at Santana and sigh.

"Listen guys we haven't been fair to Rachel. We need to give her space and try not to push her to far."

"Why she is so annoying. She always has to have her opinions in on everything."

"Doesn't everyone deserve to have their own opinions? Listen something isn't right in Rachel land. We need to try and save Rachel before it is to late."

Rachel's P.O.V.

When school is finally out I start toward the car that is still sitting in the school parking lot, when I get a better look at it the door have been wrapped shut, and there is a spot on the hood that states Lima loser on it. I sigh and hold back the tears.

"Would you like help with that?" I turn around to see Mr. Schuester walking over to me. I shake me head no, but he still comes over.

"Listen Rachel I want to help you please tell me what is going on?" I shake my head.

"MR. Schue I am fine. I am just finally realizing who I am. I'm not the best person in the world. I shouldn't be so full of myself. I am just Rachel Berry and ordinary girl that has nothing special about her. Don't worry Mr. Schue I will be fine." I look as he cuts the wrap from around my car.

"Listen Rachel everything is going to be okay." I look over at him and smile before I get into my car. After I get fastened in I look over to see Mr. Schue doing the same. I pull out of the parking lot and I start to drive. I don't know where I am driving to When I finally reach a bridge I get out of my car and walk to the edge where the only thing that keeps me from falling is the railing.

"What do you think you are doing?" I look over my shoulder to see Mr. Schue and Emma standing there. I climb over the railing and look at Mr. Schue.

"Don't come any closer or I will do it. I will jump. "

"Rachel Please talk to me." I look at him and start to cry harder.

"You want to know what is wrong Mr. Schue? No body cares. No body cares about me and I am stuck here feeling all this pain inside. No body wants me in glee you said it yourself my actions were not okay anymore. I don't have a family. I am not wanted. I am in foster care because nobody wants me. You all think that I live some awesome life, but I don't. I have a job so I can keep everything I have. I am nothing special Mr. Schue they are right I am a Lima loser and Everyone in Glee they are happy that I am not there anymore. I don't interupt give my thoughts on anything I just sit there. I don't sing. I don't do what I love, because what I love isn't something that I can accomplish, but even after all that no body asked me if I was okay. Nobody asked if something was wrong. No body has ever wondered If I did something Terrible. You know my life is hell. I am sorry but when I tried to come to you for help when this all started you didn't even help me you didn't say a word here you didn't even hear a word I said you didn't even know I was there I was invisible, just like in glee I sat there, I was quiet, and I was invisible. You have to admit you enjoyed that. So Don't act like you care now Mr. Schue besides why does it matter if I care or not I am getting sent to a new foster home."

"Rachel I didn't know," I look down at the water beneath me as tears started to fall.

"No body knew because nobody cared enough to ask or to listen."

"Rachel will you please climb back over the railing? It isn't safe over there."

"You don't get it Mr. Schue it isn't safe over there. Where you are standing is where the danger really is."

"Listen Rachel please come here and talk to me. I don't want anything to happen to you." I reluctantly agree and as I start to climb over the railing I loose my balance and start to fall I grip onto one of the railing and hang on for dear life.

"RACHEL," I hear Mr. Schue yell as he runs over he tries to grab my hand, but it slips and I start to scream as I fall. When I finally hit the water the current starts taking down it's terrible path and by the time I start to get over the shock darkness takes over.

**well that was the end of the first Chapter. There will be more if you guys all like it so please do. Please review so I know that you all want more of this story. Thank you everyone and by. **


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